A Very Angsty Story
by Appleinn4
Summary: Rachel cant handle being an understudy. how far will her directors push her?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys I wanted to upload "I have OCD, Deal with it" but I am really depressed and I didn't want to bring that out on my romantic comedy. I am going to do this super fast to get some anger out and this is just my angst story and I will add chapters if I am feeling any worse. I hope this makes up for no chapter 4 but I hope you understand.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee but I do own the angst that is boiling inside of me right now.

Rachel's POV:

SHUT UP! Stop acting like I was perfect for the lead role because I wasn't. I promised myself I would never be a understudy and here I am. Not only am I an understudy but I am an understudy for A MALE LEAD! It's just angering. I have disappointed myself but more than that I have disappointed Barbra Streisand (my biggest idol) and I could never face that again. Ever since I was 3 months old I have been in pageants and dance competitions but only 10 plays and this one I wanted.

I wanted it more than they could ever tell. Here's the worst part. I have to suffer it alone for 2 more hours until my dad's come to sympathize. I really would mind getting a small role but being an understudy was so much worse. The 5% chance that he is going to be sick and I will get to go up on stage won't happen. As much as I hope and hope it will it won't happen.

Sometimes you have to face the truth. Well let me tell you something; THE TRUTH SUCKS! At this point it might suck more than getting hit by a car or breaking a leg. I knew that my audition wasn't up to my normal standards but I was sick that weak. Plus, the whole show was casted horribly. Now I just have to sit here alone thinking about my failer at 9:13 at night. Nobody even cares. I talk to people and they ignore me.

I just CAN'T STAND IT. It hurts worse than I thought it would. I didn't cry (never will Rachel Berry shed a tear).It's just a pointless waste of my time that I really don't feel like dealing with. Not only that but they didn't even remember my audition. They didn't remember the soul I had put into it and as hard it is for me to admit it, I didn't care enough. God, If I only could care enough! Then I wouldn't be in this position and I could be happy. I would be ready over all my various lines happier than ever.

I would sip tea on the patio, reviewing my songs and singing them with all my heart. But I am not and it is too late to go back. This was the one thing I didn't want to happen. All my nightmares are coming true and I wish they wouldn't. It doesn't help that school isn't going well. Everyone seems to be attacking me and there is no way out.

A/N: sorry its so short but it really helped to get anger out. I would right more but it seems I am out of time. This really happened to me so it is very personal. Love you guys, Hate myself.


	2. Chapter 2: Those eyes that glare

A/N: Yes, everyone I havent been on fanfic for about a week. I am not sure what is going to happen to i have ocd deal with it. I am not feeling super happy and the next chapter needs that feeling. So i will be adding chapters to a very angsty story for a while. Love you guys and bare with me:)This will be short like all others and this one esspecially does not make sence because im just letting my fingers move. Its in paragraphs but its not edited to bare with me.

disclaimer: dont own Glee and the only Berry i own is the one in my fridge.

* * *

Here we are. The first practice for beauty and the beast. Of course ill be sitting. Thats the worst thing to go through. Just sitting there listening to everyone whisper about you. Hearing them laugh and point. Maybe your parnoid, but you probably arent. I read through my lines trying to block out the UP!. God, why dont i just quit the play. Then i remember, Nobody quits on a play just because they dont fit in at first. Stop the tears,hid the pain. I seemed to tell myself that alot while I was here. In the auditorium in the same seat. Watching the same song and looking at all the idiots that have no idea what they are doing.

Belle SUCKS. Belle sucks bad. I mean my audition sucked and it was loads better than that poor useless child. I belive her name was Cindy. Yea right like anyone named Cindy could be a good actress.I dont care how big of a steryotype it is. I am just mad. i can be angry once and i while and i mean whats wrong with that? Thats right NOTHING! nothing at all so shut up. those little voices in my head. RACHEL! put your head down. NOW NOW NOW NOW. okay head down now read. Okay lines. How am i going to do an French accent? And harder than that it has to be male.

Just read. now they are laughing . I hear them and it is just getting louder. Now the director has joined in. I have to look up

* * *

I look up at the stage

* * *

Oh. they are laughing becuase Cindy tripped. Hahaha that loser. I hope she crys till she quits. thats what would be better for the show. Anyone would be better for the show. I rarely even tripp and she already has 3 times. In auditions she always tripped. I dont know how many times she had to retry. I took one take and left. Why was that so hard for her. the loser. Maybe she was the directors daughter. That sounds right. That stupid director and his loser daughter.

I pondered leaving and then *sat down* in my chair. Life doesnt make go through things we hate just to feel .5% of pride. Cindy. Ugh maybe i should get a gun and kill her.N0o i would get caught and then i wouldnt be able to go on broadway. Thats what would make me feel really proud. Cindy finnaly got back up. Her eyes look watery even from 6 rows back. She couldnt dance either and the beast was tone deaf.

There was somthing wrong with this play and i will get to the bottom of it.

* * *

A/N: So short and doesnt make sense. I just needed to ramble. If you are wondering why im not happy it is because of the trgedy in Tucson arizona (where me and Abrainiac live) there was a shooting and it really hit us hard and i am going to a funeral on thursday and even then my life sucks. Crap guys i just cant get happy and the second i get a man I have OCD, Deal with it is just going to blast off. Love you guys and sorry if this chapter was super weird.


	3. The Loner Understudy

A/N: For the most part a true story, Yes things for Rachel arent getting better as rehearsals get longer and increasingly annoying

Disclaimer: If i owned glee i wouldn't be a stupid understudy -.-

* * *

"Dad, I'm off to rehearsal. Be back in 3 hours"

I said as trudged out. I'm not looking forward to rehearsal but still I got in my car pulled out of the driveway and mad it to the theater.

Just like always my "character director" came up to me and whispered those words I hate hearing "Jason needs the practice so you just sit and take notes."

I sank in my chair ready for the grueling hours that were sure to slowly past.

First on was the odd day cast (or cast #1). They were good but once again needed direction. I gladly watched happy to see failures and mishaps of the cast. That always made me feel a bit better.

Then was the even day cast (or cast #2). The were better. Every one did a great job staying in character. Now I was getting annoyed, I've been sitting here for an hour doing nothing.

Its one thing for me to miss a fun Saturday to go up on stage and do something I love but sitting here for now

2 and a half hours

was ridiculous

There was Lumiere tripping over lines.

I have had my lines memorized since the day i got my script.

but he still stumbled and the "character director" had to feed him lines

I tried to text a friend on my phone but the real director got mad at me for not paying attention

One more hour

Group 1 went back up for another shot. They all did everything the same as before, more tired and there words were getting gumbled. after the torturous 30 minutes the director sent them down. The girl who played Belle in group one got all the group one kids in a group to chat while group 2 went up to give it another great shot.

"We need to be better than group 2 if we have an-"

Belles voice faded from my ears as group whispered of ways to be better than group 2. meanwhile group 2 was doing everything right. execpt Lumiere

he was...not doing as great as i would have.

So while group one conversed and group 2 acted. i sat here...alone..on the other side of the room. with no group

I would forever be known as

The Loner Understudy

Thats was a great name, not that i was proud to own it just that it

oh so sadly

fit me

Rachel Barry starring as

THE LONER UNDERSTUDY

coming to theaters soon

only it wouldnt be starring me

it would be starring someone else

i would just be the understudy.

What a great life

.Not.


	4. A New Start

A/N: Hey guys, Yes no angst in this short short short chapter but it is leading up to a ton of angst and anger so hold your horses

Disclaimer: i claim to not claime glee. how about that?

* * *

"Hello Rachel this is Tom, I have a show for you, you would be a comical maid it is a great part" Tom my very first director said through the phone.

This was the chance to get away from beauty and the beast. Take another chance with a professional director who really knows what he is doing.

"Oh I would love to" I said skipping around in my room about to yelp with a girl spasm

"Okay I will send you a script and schedule"

And that was it, this was my new chance

I was going to grab the bull by the horns


	5. Things Get Better Before They Get Worse

A/N: Still Leading up to the angst

patience young grasshopper

*disclaimer here*

* * *

It was the first day of between the acts rehearsal.

Everyone from this show was in "a Christmas carol" that I did in December.

Though this show was much smaller.

Only 6 people

No understudies

Nobody to feel bad for.

Rehearsals were amazing

Filled with various jokes.

People having funny mess ups

Me being on stage.

On stage again what a feeling.

Me and James were the only teens and the show

And that was nice

Not hidden by loud obnoxious teenagers who had no idea what blocking was.

Or acting for that matter.

It was nice

They were my family

I felt

At home

It was a small

Quaint theater.

Fun

NO UNDERSTUDIES

Think of that

Sometimes a co-partner but NEVER an understudy

You always have stage time here.

Which made it a thousand times better than beauty and the beast.

Rehearsal ended at 9pm. late seeing that I had to drive 30 minutes to get home.

It was worth it

Arriving at home I took a shower

And fell asleep


End file.
